Bush!   My Bush! Job   Bush! Stuff
			CronyJobs Home

PRESIDENTIAL PALS & BACKERS: "Apply" now to secure a lucrative career both decrying and luxuriating in the spoils of Big Government! No experience necessary! Don't miss your chance to suckle greedily at America's soon-to-be-bankrupt bureaucracy teat! PERSONAL INFORMATION: Name: Address:     City: State: ... Red Blue ZIP: PROFESSIONAL INFORMATION: Current Employer: ... The White House Prairie Chapel Ranch of Crawford, LLC           Republican National Committee FOX News Channel Congressional Aryan Caucus The Scorched Earth Society McJesus Ventures Offshore Holdings, Inc. Previous Employer: ... Bush/Cheney 2004 Presidential Campaign Bush for Governor (FL) 2002 Campaign Bush/Cheney 2000 Presidential Campaign   Bush for Governor (TX) 1998 Campaign Bush for Governor (FL) 1998 Campaign Bush for Governor (TX) 1994 Campaign Bush/Quayle 1992 Presidential Campaign Bush/Quayle 1988 Presidential Campaign Reagan/Bush 1984 Presidential Campaign Reagan/Bush 1980 Presidential Campaign Bush 1980 Presidential Campaign Position Desired: ... Cabinet Secretary Federal Administrator Federal Director Federal Commissioner Federal Judge Other/Misc. Apparatchik                                       Relevant Skills: (Check All That Apply) Cardio Weights Ab Sculpting Spinning Golf Polo Yachting Safari Attending Meetings Reading Memoranda Delegating Work    Prostate-Tickling Sycophancy Have You Ever Been Indicted For a Felony? Yes (Only Once) Yes (More Than Once) Not Yet Where Did You Hear About This Opportunity? ... President Bush (43) President Bush (41) Bob Novak Country Club Locker Room Modern Plutocracy Magazine Illuminati Christmas Party Skull & Bones Circle Jerk                                    Compensation Desired: ... Low-Mid Six-Figure Government Salary High-Six Figure Book Deal Low-Seven-Figure Speaking Circuit Tour Mid-Seven-Figure Lobbying Contract The Asphyxiating Musk of Fame & Power     All Of The Above GOP Campaign Contributions Per Annum: ... $100,001 - $500,000 $500,001 - $1,000,000 $1,000,001 - $5,000,000 $5,000,001 - $10,000,000                                       $10,000,001 & above References: (Check All That Apply) George W. Bush George H.W. Bush Jesus Interests: (Check All That Apply) Freedom® Invasions Anti-Intellectualism Flag Pins Obedience Patrio-Groupthink Illegal Propagandizing The War on Faggotry Affiliations: (Check All That Apply) Yale Harvard Al-Anon DEKE Skull & Bones Kappa Kappa Kappa WTO Wholesale Exploitation & Subjugation Alliance

A Small Sampling of Our Satisfied Clientele: NAME: Harriet Miers POSITION: Associate Justice, US Supreme Court SALARY: $202,900/year (pending) TESTIMONIAL: "First CronyJobs set me up with a faboo White House staff job, then I almost got a life-long gig trying out that 'Judge' stuff. It would have been mega-cool to work with that sexpot Ruth Bader Ginsberg!" NAME: Michael Brown POSITION: Director: Federal Emergency Mgmt. Agency SALARY: $145,600/year TESTIMONIAL: "I just love my FEMA corner office with the mahogany furniture and the perky little secretary. And thanks to CronyJobs, my Florsheim penny loafers have slipped in their last pile of Arabiac horse dung!" NAME: Lester Crawford POSITION: Commissioner, Food & Drug Administration SALARY: $165,000/year TESTIMONIAL: "The problem with being a Christian Taliban veterinarian is you rarely get to flex your muscle on human vaginas. But thanks to CronyJobs, I banned contraception that might have spared millions of slutty little whores the punitive agony of childbirth!" NAME: Cheryl Halpern POSITION: Chair, Corporation for Public Broadcasting SALARY: $157,500/year TESTIMONIAL: "Having overseen major Federal propaganda projects like Radio Marti in Cuba and Radio Free Iraq, I'm proud CronyJobs picked me to make NPR 'fair and balanced.' Who says donating $319,250 to the GOP is a thankless task?!" NAME: Mark McClellan POSITION: Administrator, Medicare & Medicaid Svcs. SALARY: $143,250/year TESTIMONIAL: "First I was an Economic Advisor, then Commissioner of the FDA, and now I decide which oldsters and poor folks live and die. If I get bored again, I think I'll swap CronyJobs with my baby brother Scott!" NAME: Julie Myers POSITION: Director: Immigration & Customs SALARY: $122,500/year (pending) TESTIMONIAL: "OMIGOD, like, CronyJobs is SOOOO AWESOME! After I helped Ken Starr crucify that semen geyser Bill Clinton, I got hired in the Bush White House. And I made coffee so well there, now I get to manage the 20,000 agents who keep America's borders as impenetrable as the boss's daughters!" NAME: Joe Allbaugh POSITION: Director: Federal Emergency Mgmt. Agency SALARY: $145,600/year TESTIMONIAL: "Rather than getting hung up on silly red tape like 'experience', CronyJobs worked hard to fulfill my dream: getting carte blanche to destroy Jimmy Carter's FEMA – on an easy flex-schedule that didn't make me sacrifice any quality time with my hair!"

The hottest government careers – for entitled plutocrats like you!

©2005 – CronyJobs.com – All Rights Reserved. A Service of the White House Staffing Department & Chickenhead Productions, Inc.

TOP QUALITY CRONY GEAR: